What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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