imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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