enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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