OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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