Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
