I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
