so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
