I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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