Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
