As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
