dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
