Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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