the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
