Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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