"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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