Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
