After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize