I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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