he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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