How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
