I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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