Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
