they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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