oh god the rape fog is back!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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