Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
