its not stalking. its research.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
