The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
