I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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