Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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