I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
