8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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