in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
