how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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