God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
