I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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