C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
