idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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