I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
