it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
