I'm going to jail i love you
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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