Do vagina's smell?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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