How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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