wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
