You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
