paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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