Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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