weddingsv make me drug and hornr
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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