I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
