I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
love makes seman taste better
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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