She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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