Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
