Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
