better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
