Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
