I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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