Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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