I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
