I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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