Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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